Natalie Star is one of the highest-profile cam performers on the net. The Fleshlight CamStar model has appeared in Playboy, and her insights and business savvy have been featured prominently across adult industry media. Star has recruited and mentored models since 2010, and models who work with her are becoming some of today’s top earners. Star stopped by YNOT Cam to share tips for career success.
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If you wanna play, you gotta pay. And if you want to cam, sometimes you have to deal with annoying or frustrating (or creepy or uncomfortable) things happening in your room. This isn’t especially unusual, as every job comes with its fair share of barbs. But something about the intimate, sexy and online nature of cam makes one barb feel extra sharp: rude customers.
When they can hide behind a veil of internet anonymity, people love to spew venom. On cam, that venom often is intensified by the exchange if money and the stigma of sex work. Customers may feel that because they paid for your time, they can say whatever they want. The world’s sustained love/hate relationship with sex-related jobs seems to invite this kind of harassment.
In some instances, a salty attitude can be part of a customer’s fantasy or desire. Their favorite scenario may include being rude or degrading, which then falls on your shoulders to enact. You don’t have to enjoy fantasies like those, or even participate.
Thinking about rude customers and online harassment isn’t pleasant (especially when the harassment comes from other models), but it’s necessary to be aware. Remaining aware of the possibility for bad behavior will make sure your arsenal contains ideas about how to deal with obnoxious customers. Natalie Star shared some of her strategies for dealing with rudeness online — because even she still experiences it.
“I wish I could say everything on cam is always fun and amazing,” Star said. “But the truth is that for as many customers who login to chat and enjoy themselves, there are just as many who login with hopes of making us feel like shit.”
Star’s best advice: You must develop a thick skin and learn to let bad behavior roll off you. The best way to develop a thick skin? Remind yourself that customers’ issues and demands have everything to do with them — and nothing to do with you. Write yourself a reminder note and post it where you can always see it, or recite a mantra in your head: This has nothing to do with me! Don’t allow fans to drag you into their drama.
“Regardless the scenario, the best way to handle harassment or rudeness is to ignore [the rude person],” Star said, adding that as a model, you are in control. You can block a user at any time and/or end a show if you feel uncomfortable in any way.
“I’ve seen models rant and rave and start screaming at the camera when someone decides to belittle them or pick them apart in their room. This is not a good strategy,” Star said. “In fact, this type of behavior only shows the haters that they’re getting to you, which means they will continue to harass you even more.
“What I have found to work best is to just act as if you did not see anything they wrote,” she continued. “Pay them no attention, and eventually they will become bored and find another room to play in.”
What if the harasser is another model?
“Many times, it’s a model who sees you as competition,” Star said. “There’s a response for that: ‘Don’t worry about what I’m doing; worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.’”
Visit Natalie Star on Twitter at @NatalieStarLive.