As we all know, most dudes really do know how to talk to women, especially when the topic is our lady parts. Consider:
- “Lemme see that pussy.”
- “Need to lick u.”
- “Champion dicktator, hot snatch.”
- “I’m gonna put my [eggplant emoji] between those lips.”
And these are just from one sexy Insta pic!
Let me start over. As we all know, men can be completely clueless when it comes to talking to women, especially when it comes to our nether regions. It’s easy to see this in the way many of them comment on our pictures and “correspond” in open chat. And when said pictures contain a bare vagina (well, vulva, but I’ll get into that later), all bets are off.
Many men, and even people in general, don’t realize there isn’t such a thing as a “right” way for our lady parts to look and often might make uncomfortable and inaccurate comments as a result. Even worse, I’ll admit that I personally didn’t know my own nether regions as well as I thought I did. Not until pretty recently, that is — years after the first time I began engaging in sexual activity and masturbation.
More than just awakening about the different ways the vulva can appear, I put an effort toward finding out exactly why sex and masturbation often were difficult for me and found some extremely helpful facts that improved my ability to please myself and reach orgasm. And let’s be honest — sometimes the show of pleasing one’s self is part of the game, too.
The “vagina” is part of the vulva.
We tend to call the entire lady parts region the vagina, when really the vagina is just that opening that connects to the cervix. The entire visible outer region is the vulva, which includes the labia, urethra and clitoris.
The clitoris varies in size and position.
Not all clitorises are alike. The closer a clitoris is to the vagina, the easier it might be for one to orgasm during penetrative sex. Another fun fact about the clit: It becomes erect (engorged with blood) during arousal. Yes, like a penis. Obviously, it’s not visibly noticeable the way an erect penis is, but the information shows how important clitoral stimulation is for sexual arousal. Oh, and did I mention that the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis? Our clits are magical.
Labia vary in appearance and color.
The poor, poor labia are so misunderstood. There is no standard appearance for labia. They can vary in color (usually from light pinks to dark purples), as well as in size. Some stick out more than others. Some like to hide behind the curtains more. It doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things, and if you ask me, all labia are beautiful.
The “G-spot” is kind of a myth.
It’s complicated, but new research shows it’s more likely what was once considered the “G-spot” is actually a combination of our clitoris, urethra, and front side of our vaginal wall being stimulated all at once. It’s now being referred to as the “clitourethrovaginal complex,” which is not as fun to say as “G-spot,” but we can figure out a way to make it fun. Maybe the C-complex? Hmm. I’ll keep brainstorming…
Vaginas can double in size when aroused.
It’s called “tenting,” and no it’s not permanent. In fact, there is no such thing as a vagina getting “stretched out” or bigger due to penetrative sex.
Lube is good. Very good.
Don’t fear lube. It can greatly improve both intercourse and masturbation. It obviously makes things easier to slip in, thus improving arousal and overall pleasure. Water-based lube is the more highly recommended, especially for use with dildos and vibrators.
Here’s a great Lube 101 on YNOT Cam — basics, explained!
So, there you have it. Some fast, fun facts you might not have known about your precious vulva. There’s obviously much more to learn about our all-powerful sex organ, and the more you know, the more comfortable and confident you feel. It’s so important to know exactly what brings you the most pleasure and how to make the experience more fun and exciting for you. When it comes to appearance, don’t take vag-shaming to heart. Anyone who engages in it is clearly extremely uninformed.
Embrace what you’ve got. The first and most important thing is self-love.
Sonia Stevens is a writer-comedian who picks apart the absurdities women face daily. Email her at Sonia.Stevens@ynotcam.com.