Just like any other form of sex or sex work, consent is important in the camming world. Although clients cannot physically take advantage of cam models, they most certainly can display manipulative and demanding behaviors that can pressure a model into doing something they might not be comfortable with.
In the heat of the moment, clients can steer a model to do something that’s normally a strict “no-no.” A good way to avoid this is by asking them what they want in a private show. Kinseyy Shane highlights the importance of discussing the details before payment.
“As a cam model, I am always taking role play requests and private sessions,” Shane explained.
“Consent is very easy with me because I always ask the member what they are interested in BEFORE they pay me. In the past, I have had very uncomfortable experiences when I would go straight into private before discussing details! The devil’s in the details, and he could ask for something you’re not okay with. If that happens, I ALWAYS politely decline right away and refer them to another model if I know she offers what he’s looking for.”
“Please do not entertain their kink if you’re not into it because they can tell,” she advised.
Rejecting a client can be hard sometimes. Maybe you’ve gotten to know them, maybe you don’t want to miss out on a new client or maybe you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Remember that your level of comfort is more important than any of those things.
OFP keeps it simple by just saying “no.”
“As a performer, we all have our own personal boundaries,” OFP told us. “I’m a pretty straightforward person, so if someone requests me to film a certain kind of material that I’m not comfortable with, then I straight tell them no — which I can only recall that happening a couple times. I’m pretty open to other people’s kinks and fetishes.”
Learn more from OFP! Read YNOT Cam’s exclusive interview with this boundary-pushing model right here.
Role playing and BDSM can be a lot of fun for both parties, but every now and then you’ll run into a “domme” who doesn’t know how to treat their “sub” outside of a private session. Just because you enact these power dynamics during a show, doesn’t mean they can treat you like a sub in real life. With role playing and BDSM, always make sure there is a mutual respect for one another and ALWAYS have a safe word.
We asked Shane about how she handles role play and how to deal with “dommes” who take role-playing a little too far.
“I am a switch, so I do offer submissive private sessions,” she explained, adding, “Real dommes in the BDSM community are very respectful, but I come across a lot of newbies that don’t know the ropes. Don’t let people treat you like crap — no matter how much they’re willing to pay, you should never be uncomfortable!”
“I will tell them exactly what I don’t like and let them know what I DO offer. If it’s not what they’re looking for that’s ok! I have stepped outside of my comfort zone with people, and it’s been very fun and exciting [but] just go with your gut. If you have a bad feeling and they continue after you’ve explained you’re uncomfortable, just ban them. It’s not worth the stress!” Shane continued.
— Miss Dolloween 🦇🎃👻 (@Kinseyy_Shane) October 14, 2018
Banning or blocking clients might seem harsh, but it’s one of the best tools models have. Don’t be afraid to use it, or that client will continue to pester you.
We asked OFP for advice on how to handle demanding clients, and she laid it out for us.
“As a model, you can’t be afraid to stand your ground with customers,” she explained. “You can be firm in a nice manner and remain professional. I luckily don’t get too many rude customers, but they are out there. I’ve seen so many guys try to manipulate [me], trying to get free content. [I]t’s both sad and pathetic. I often wonder how many times they do that and have models actually fall for it.”
“We put a lot of hard work into our content. When guys try to pull a fast one with me for free content, I always tell them ‘Do you go out to eat asking for free food? No. So what makes you think that you deserve free content from me?'”
— OFP ™ (@Super_Soaker69) October 17, 2018
Center image in banner via dknudsen.