By Andra Chirnogeanu
What will you do when your parents and friends find out you are a cam model?
Well, the idea of “finding out” implies that you are keeping a secret, perhaps even a “bad” one. But there is nothing “bad” about webcam, though many people in the world still struggle with the idea of working in the adult entertainment industry being legit or real. (Word to the wise: It is.) Because we attach so much one-dimensional meaning to sex and compartmentalize our sex lives in such a way, it’s often especially difficult for people to wrap their minds around sexy occupations in terms of their friends and family. So, sometimes it’s just easier to keep your work business to yourself.
But eventually — inevitably — webcam models often get “found out.” For this never to happen, you should tell your parents and friends from the start, when the first thought of doing it crosses your mind. This way, you would avoid the panic of not knowing — and also be able to give them the news on your own terms.
So, let’s say you’re just thinking about becoming a cam model. You should have a discussion with them — sit them down and explain what a camgirl actually does. They will have loads of questions, so be prepared. Here are some of the most common ones:
Is it legal? Yes, it is. You have a work contract, pension fund, etc. (If you decide to work legally, that is — and you should.)
Are you meeting these people in real life? Your answer should be “No, never.”
Do people pay you for sex? Again, the answer is “No, never.” You do not meet these people in real life, so no real/physical connection will be made.
If you are camming from home, will they know where you live and try to find you? No, because you are not allowed by the sites to give out personal information like address, phone numbers, or email addresses. (It’s the same if you work from a cam studio.)
You’ll stay in front of a camera naked all the time? No, you will be wearing normal clothes. Only the private shows might require nudity, but even that’s not something mandatory.
So you’ll be at some customer’s beck and call, required to do what he wants, when he wants it? Hell no! You will do whatever you want, on your own terms, in your own way, but with class and sass.
What if anyone from our community sees you there? Well, depending on how often someone enters a cam site, you would have as many questions about him being there as he would have about you. So, it’s a silent understanding that none of you will say something about this.
Bonus: Maybe this could become a “teaching moment” about the double standards facing women and men working in the adult entertainment industry and the free pass often afforded to clients and customers.
Are you going to have sex on cam? That will happen only if you chose to cam with another person, such as your bf or gf. Otherwise, it’s just you alone.
This would be the good way of letting them know before you start working. This way, you don’t have any damage control to do. The-not-so-good scenario is when they find out from somewhere else. Not only does this prevent you from sharing your own information, but you also don’t get any input on the tenor of what’s shared: Is your work being presented in a positive, realistic light, or as something shocking or scandalous?
Unfortunately, that type of scenario does happen. If it happens to you, here are some steps to help reclaim the situation:
Take the first step. Bring up your work. Don’t run and hide.
Own it! You are a mature, independent woman, and you make money from camming. You know what you do, and you are not ashamed of it.
Listen to them (even let them scream). They don’t understand what your job is about. This is your chance to help them learn about something new. Don’t yell back.
Explain what you do. Share information and answer the questions you know they will have before they have to say them. (They actually might appreciate you saving them having to find the words.)
Show them the contract. This way, they know for sure your work is legal and legit.
Show them the money. Really. Show them how much you earn so they don’t think it’s a scam.
Give them time. It’s hard when you are confronted with news like this about a taboo subject in our society. They will come around eventually.
No two sets of friends and families are the same. Though these tips and tactics are good guides, it’s also a good idea to be prepared for some curve balls. But sometimes curveballs can be good, meaning people can also surprise you. You might even end up learning some more about the people close to you that you didn’t know before (another bonus).
I’ll save my tips about how to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend for another time, but just so you know: They should definitely be happy about your mad dirty-talk skills!