By Amberly Rothfield
When interacting with customers online, you will meet a wide array of people. Some are shy. They want to have a mind-blowing session but are unsure how. Others are so randy. They want to get off right. now – and we all know that drawing out that feeling can make for an explosive experience.
As a phone sex operator and cam performer, it is my job to control the situation — and it’s yours too, even if you are a submissive! How can one go about this though?
Breathe in, breathe out
When we talk fast or rush anything, our heart rate tends to soar. This, in turn, typically means our breathing becomes more shallow and rapid. This is where we begin to speak fast and find ourselves losing control.
Slow your breathing, slow your speech and take back control over the conversation. People talking to you often will mirror the way you are speaking, especially since they want to speak with you specifically. If you slow down, so will they. Draw out one syllable per word for a decent pace. Do not be afraid to toss in a sweet-but-coy giggle or a baited moan here and there. Keep the sexual energy up, but do not devolve too early into guttural grunts and sensual groans until you have woven your web to that point of no return.
Are we there yet? How ‘bout now? …Now?
Questions. The person asking them is the one who is in control of a situation.
Have you ever watched an actual interrogation of a criminal or suspect, even in a movie or on television? Investigators never want to give up control in such circumstances and are very quick to let you know — They are asking, you are answering!
Take up the bad cop’s badge and be sure to ask questions with your customer. The more you let him go into his head, the less control over the fantasy you have, the less involved you are and the more interchangeable you become. This is not what you want.
Your goal is to become the person who provided such an experience that your customer knows he cannot get better elsewhere. Get that control — and keep it — by asking sexy questions. By breaking up the client’s mental state with questions, you slow down the pace of the experience, allowing you more insight on what is really working for them.
Pro Tip: Try to stay away from questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” They can still stay in their head if you allow for this.
Tease, tease, tease… Then tease some more!
While most of my calls are of a more fetish-like nature, even the vanilla callers love being teased. Tried and true, everyone loves getting close to orgasming and coming back down. Of course, many times your customer may go “too far” and end up having an orgasm. Never get mad, unless it is that kind of party.
An orgasm is often our way of knowing we did a great job. If it comes too quickly tough, consider it a learning opportunity. Take notes and try to think of how you can slow it down a bit next time you speak. As long as you give an incredible performance and you really hone in on your clients’ desires, then they will come back.
Tick tock, t…i…c…k t…o…c…k
Timing is everything, especially when you are paid per minute. There is a delicate balance to be mindful of though. You want to draw out those interactions, but do realize that if you take too long or try to steer too hard against a client, you could actually lose them!
If a client is making it clear that he is in it for a quickie, accept this. Some clients just do not want, nor may they have time, for an extended interaction. Some just want to jerk off during a lunch break – they need to get to it and get done. Respect that and notate that this is a client you may not be able to “control” as you do others. This is no failure on your part, but a natural part of the business. It is often these clients who grow to love you the best.
I have many clients who have told me they loved that I did not get mad that they are Quick Draw McGraw. Also, know that some just do not have the money to spend. Their funds are limited, but they do enjoy having their sexy time being spent on performers like us. Praise anyone who pays for their porn, no matter what their budget size is.
In sum, remember that controlling the conversation is a skill you learn with time. Think of it as a marathon, not a race!
— Amberly Rothfield (@AmberlyPSO) August 9, 2018
Amberly Rothfield is a 13-year veteran of the phone sex industry. Author of the How I Made 10k A Month As A Phone Sex Operator, Rothfield’s passion is teaching others how to make a profitable adult business with a heavy focus on marketing. She has created free video tutorials and infographics available at amberlyrothfield.com.